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Rehashing the Eighties

A new wave of video game movies are tapping some familiar topics of old.

By John Gillooly on 23 September, 2008

I know that Hollywood was known as a party destination in the eighties. I also know that consumption at said parties may have led to large memory gaps for participants. What I don’t know is why there is an upsurge of stupid video game movie ideas that mimic titles from that decade.

We’ve heard Brett Ratner going on and on and on about wanting to make a Guitar Hero movie. His plot ideas seem to revolve around a small town kid making it big by winning Guitar Hero competitions, undoubtedly leading to a showdown with the existing black-wearing ‘bad boy’ champion. Then probably a chaste kissing scene with the girl of his dreams, thrown into his arms by his 100% perfect rendition of Poison’s Every Rose Has Its Thorn.

Ratner obviously escaped a youth of Fred Savage overload, otherwise he’d realise that his idea is just The Wizard with less Nintendo and more Activision. But then, what do you expect from the guy that killed the X-Men movies?

Even worse is news overnight of the movie adaptation of The Sims. This digital life simulator is a massive commercial success but not exactly laden with plot or adventure. But don’t worry, the producer behind the slow death of Eddie Murphy’s career has got an idea for The Sims – think of it as Tron meets Honey I Shrunk the Kids.

Basically, this kid buys a copy of ‘The Sims Infinity Pack’ from one of those spooky stores that only appears long enough for said expansion pack purchase (I personally would buy a gremlin rather than a Sims expansion). He then scans the existing world into the game and starts messing with it. A most likely black-clad bad guy turns up and somehow gets out of the game into the real world and adventure ensues.

The plot treatment is still at an early stage. In the interview the producer seems to be oscillating between the lead being a 16 year old, a 15 year old, or a 14 year old and a friend. It could also be straight out of the eighties, aping movies like Weird Science and The Last Starfighter for an audience that missed it the first time around.

Don’t get me wrong – the concept of ‘person being sucked into videogame world’ has legs, however, of all the games released each year, The Sims is the one least likely to make for a compelling experience once inside. While I personally cannot wait for the ‘trapped in an ever tightening circle of Ikea wardrobes’ scene, or the terrifying ‘bricked up in the toilet’ sequence, I doubt it can sustain an entire movie.

If this worrying trend in video game movies depresses you, here is the month-old trailer of the shining light of game to movie adaptations. The Mark Wahlberg-led Max Payne may lack swearing, but it has the guns and moody voice-overs needed to cleanse the pallet. Just try not to think of The Crow.